Self-confidence is very important but it is no small feat. I grew up in a home where my parents treated everyone of their children with love. They encouraged and supported us in all of our endeavors. They didn’t show favoritism. We grew up knowing that they were proud of us. Even with all of that, I still ended up having to work daily on my self-confidence. I had the foundation, but I felt insecure about differences that I had compared to the other children. I had a darker complexion than the other three children. My parents taught us that all skin colors were beautiful but I knew that other people didn’t think that was the case. In school all of the lighter skinned girls got all of the attention. I had grown-ups associated with our family, refer to me as the little dark one. This made me feel like my darker skin was a bad thing. I would tell people that I am cute, but my sister is the pretty one because she had lighter skin. These things were in the back of my mind as I grew older and then other insecurities started to surface. I only grew to be 5’1, so now not only was I darker than everyone else in my family, but I was also short. My teeth began to get crooked, so now I was ashamed of my once beautiful smile. I walked around feeling bad about myself and that was hindering me in my every day life. I realized that I needed to be confident in who I was no matter what. I had to appreciate and love the skin I was I in. I had to accept the fact that I was short and use it to my advantage. I also realized, I could fix my smile. So I did. I can now honestly say that I have confidence. I love who I am. I don’t worry if people accept me or not. Those who should be in my life, will accept me and those who don’t accept me, won’t be in my life. So my advice is to always be confident in who your are. Love yourself no matter what. Accept your flaws, even if you can’t change them. Once you do this, you will attract the right people in your life and the right doors with open up for you.
People look at me and they think I have it all together, but in actually I don’t. Sure, I have a great career and a job I absolutely love. My spiritual life is getting better by the day. I have two awesome boys. However, when it comes to my love life it is an absolute mess. I have always been the person that my friends and family members come to for relationship advice. Even when I was in high school my friends would confide in me about their problems while we were in study hall. I would give them what I thought was the best advice. It was easy for me to have a different perspective on their situations because I was on the outside looking him. Some of them took my advice and some didn’t, but in the end they would thank me and tell me I was right about their situation. I often wonder, why I don’t have that type of insight into my own relationships. I go into relationships with my eyes wide open and I somehow end up wearing rose colored glasses, while trying to see the bright side of things. I have always been “a half glass is full” type of person instead of “a half glass is empty”. I choose to see the good in people, even when they aren’t showing me their best selves and that seems to be getting me into all types of trouble. I am learning to take off those rose colored glasses and face reality. Like the old saying says, “If somebody shows you who they really are, believe them”.