Self-confidence is very important but it is no small feat. I grew up in a home where my parents treated everyone of their children with love. They encouraged and supported us in all of our endeavors. They didn’t show favoritism. We grew up knowing that they were proud of us. Even with all of that, I still ended up having to work daily on my self-confidence. I had the foundation, but I felt insecure about differences that I had compared to the other children. I had a darker complexion than the other three children. My parents taught us that all skin colors were beautiful but I knew that other people didn’t think that was the case. In school all of the lighter skinned girls got all of the attention. I had grown-ups associated with our family, refer to me as the little dark one. This made me feel like my darker skin was a bad thing. I would tell people that I am cute, but my sister is the pretty one because she had lighter skin. These things were in the back of my mind as I grew older and then other insecurities started to surface. I only grew to be 5’1, so now not only was I darker than everyone else in my family, but I was also short. My teeth began to get crooked, so now I was ashamed of my once beautiful smile. I walked around feeling bad about myself and that was hindering me in my every day life. I realized that I needed to be confident in who I was no matter what. I had to appreciate and love the skin I was I in. I had to accept the fact that I was short and use it to my advantage. I also realized, I could fix my smile. So I did. I can now honestly say that I have confidence. I love who I am. I don’t worry if people accept me or not. Those who should be in my life, will accept me and those who don’t accept me, won’t be in my life. So my advice is to always be confident in who your are. Love yourself no matter what. Accept your flaws, even if you can’t change them. Once you do this, you will attract the right people in your life and the right doors with open up for you.
I participate in a weekly challenge to create visualizations in Tableau using datasets that are posted on a site called MakeOver Monday. The dataset varies and can be on any subject, including sports and world events. This week the dataset was based on abuse against women in Afganistan. It was amazing to me to see how accepted abuse remains in these countries. It was even more disturbing that women feel that it is normal. Depending on the country, there was actually a higher percentage of women than men that thought this was acceptable behavior by their husbands.
I felt badly that these women do not know their self-worth and that they do not know they do not deserve this type of behavior. Women in the younger age range were the mostly likely demographic to accept this behavior even more, which made sense because they were married very young and don’t know what life could be like without someone treating them so horribly.
I don’t think abuse is acceptable under any circumstances, whether it be physical or verbal abuse. Ladies you not deserve for a man to treat you badly or beat you for any reason. As women we often accept these circumstances because we want love so badly, or we just don’t know how to escape the person who supposed to love us. It is important to find a way out of this type of situation and love yourself more than you love the person that is hurting you.