Stop apologizing when it isn’t your fault.

I have been in many romantic relationships, where I took the blame for everything that went wrong rather it was my fault or not. I felt like if I did this it would make the other person feel better or it would avoid additional conflict. I was taking on the burden of keeping the relationship stable. I would apologize for the sake of apologizing, even when I didn’t have anything to apologize for. The other person in the relationship was rarely taking responsibility for their actions. It seemed like they were not self-aware and didn’t realize that they were doing things that were inappropriate or hurtful. I remember a situation where I was in a relationship and we broke up because of a misunderstanding. This person was treating me pretty badly but blamed me for the entire situation. We eventually reconnected and decided to meet to talk. After the conversation this person attempted to apologize to me, and then they asked me if I had anything to apologize for. I was appalled. I literally didn’t have anything to apologize for. I was silly enough to apologize anyway. It made this person feel so much better. We got back together and this continued throughout our relationship. Anytime there was a problem I apologized, even if I wasn’t wrong. We since broke up permanently. After some self-evaluation, I realized, I should not have been apologizing to this person over and over again, when I wasn’t doing anything wrong. The lesson here is don’t apologize when you have done nothing wrong. This is not a healthy habit to have in any relationship.

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